Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
