Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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