Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
