He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
