it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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