He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
