At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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