She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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