Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
