She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
