I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
