Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
