Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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