TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
