I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
