Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize