there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
