Rock
Scissors
Fuck
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
