halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize