i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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