Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The struggles of a small town man whore
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
