rhymes with "ouble enetration"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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