And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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