He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
