i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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