I'm really into asian looking animals
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
is wine microwaveable?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
