i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
