Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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