I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
