You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
