I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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