Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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