I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
