I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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