How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
