do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i out mim tonsoeep
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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