the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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