Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
