VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize