I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
