I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
