Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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