I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
