Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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