My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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