it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
