Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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