party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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