even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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