I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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