You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
