Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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