God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
