sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize