the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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