Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
