What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
