i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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