I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
