Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
