I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
