she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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