i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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