Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
