So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
