like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
