i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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