yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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