Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
