Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize