I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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