normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
